


It's An Oy!

by eafay70



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Judaism, M/M, Wishbabies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Zach and Willy get a baby from the universe. Cultural misunderstandings and other forms of hilarity ensue.





	1. The Unexpected Baby (Zach's POV)

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this many months ago, but I couldn't figure out how to actually write it until now.
> 
> Thanks to Lotts for the encouragement many months ago! :)
> 
> To be clear: I am Jewish and have based certain things in this fic on my experiences. No two people have identical experiences; therefore, I cannot and do not claim that anything in this fic reflects Zach Hyman's experiences. Jewish experiences vary widely, which is why Zach will say "some" a lot when talking about Jewish customs. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me.
> 
> Chapters will alternate POVs simply because I couldn't decide on one POV. Each chapter will be one day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A crying sound wakes up Zach and Willy - and changes their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't specify this in the text of the chapter, but this takes place on a Sunday, simply because I'm writing/posting this on a Sunday.

Zach woke up suddenly to an unusual sound. He tried to sit up, but Willy was holding him very tightly, so he shook him slightly. "Willy, wake up."

"Huh?" Willy mumbled, not opening his eyes.

"Do you hear that?"

The sound was getting louder. "Someone crying?" Willy guessed.

"Who?" While Zach agreed that it did, in fact, sound like someone crying, they were by themselves - or at least they had been when they'd gone to sleep the night before.

"Dunno, but probably needs help." Willy opened his eyes and let go of Zach. "Let's figure this out."

They climbed out of bed. Zach pulled on the boxers and pants he'd discarded the night before, chuckling at how Willy booed him. "You really want me to go help a stranger naked?"

"Well, no," Willy admitted. "I just hate seeing you get dressed."

"We can get naked again once we take care of whatever's going on," Zach promised as he put on a clean shirt and socks. "But I'm not sharing what you look like naked if I don't have to."

"Fine," Willy conceded. He put on his briefs and a pair of pants, then headed into the hallway; if Zach was being honest with himself, he hadn't really expected Willy to put on a shirt. "Let's go."

They followed the sound to the kitchen. As they got closer, the sound became more identifiable: "A baby??" Zach gasped.

"A baby at the window." Willy pointed to the kitchen window, or rather to the basket visible through the kitchen window. "It can't be - we're both on suppressants!"

"Wishbaby suppressants can fail, just like condoms can break," Zach pointed out. He opened the window and brought in the basket. "Where should we do this?"

"Table?" Willy suggested.

"Okay." Zach put the basket on the table and lifted out the crying baby. "Hi, sweetie. I hope you haven't been out here too long."

"It's...six right now, according to the microwave." Willy reached into the basket for the folder with the birth certificate and similar forms. "This top thing says birth was at 5:45 on...wait, that's not today's date."

"Huh?" Zach looked more closely at the baby, who had calmed down for the time being. "You don't look more than a day old, little one. Shame that you look more like me than your papa, but that's not the point."

"Don't listen to him, _älskling_ \- looking like him is nothing to be ashamed of." Willy leaned over Zach's shoulder to blow the baby a kiss. "You're better at paperwork than I am - do you want to figure out the date business?"

"Sure." Zach handed Willy the baby and forced himself not to stare at how perfect Willy looked cradling their baby to his bare chest. He turned his attention to the paperwork - and immediately realized what the problem was. "That's the Jewish date. This isn't the official birth certificate, just a form with the Jewish date on it where we'll write the Hebrew name."

"Oh." Willy sounded disappointed. "I should have looked at the top of the paper, where it has the special star."

"It's okay - new fathers are allowed that sort of mistake." Zach put the paper to the side and took out the next piece of paper, which was the birth certificate. "Born today."

"So you weren't outside for that long? Good!" Willy cooed. "Is your name first?"

"On this one, yes, but..." Zach moved the paper to reveal something in Swedish. "I think you might be first on this one."

The baby began to cry again. "We'll figure this out later," Willy decided. "Let's get some food in you and make some calls, okay?"

Zach nodded absently, even though the question hadn't technically been directed at him. This was all a big surprise, but he wasn't going to freak out - he'd just wait for Willy to freak out, then calm both of them down. Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :D


	2. My Brother the Uncle (Willy's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willy talks things through with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you to everyone who's commented and/or left kudos so far! I'm so happy to have such positive feedback already! :D
> 
> Second of all, I realize now that I forgot to specify when this takes place! :( Hopefully this chapter clarifies that matter.
> 
> And third of all, pretend that Willy and Alex are speaking Swedish over the phone.

"What would you like for your second-ever lunch, sweetheart?" Zach cooed at the baby. "How about a lovely bottle of formula a la Hyman?"

Willy didn't bother holding back a laugh. "Don't pressure someone born yesterday into being a connoisseur, man!"

"Oh, shush," Zach said with no real heat in his tone. "Speaking of yesterday, have you called your folks yet?"

"No," Willy admitted. "I'll call Alex now - today's an off day for him, and he should expect me to bother him during my bye week anyway."

Zach lifted his head to look directly at Willy - specifically, to frown at Willy. "You okay, babe?"

"Of course," Willy smiled. "Don't worry your pretty head about me. I'll be back for lunch once I'm off the phone."

"Okay." Zach returned the smile.

Willy left the kitchen and walked to the bedroom, where he made the call.

"Hey there, bro," Alex said when he picked up.

"Hey, Uncle Alex," Willy replied.

There was a moment's pause, followed by a strange thumping sound. "Sorry, dropped the phone," Alex said slowly. "Did you just..."

"Zach and I got a wishbaby yesterday," Willy said quickly.

"Wow," Alex gasped. "You're a father."

"Yep."

"And Zach is the other father."

"Yep."

"And you're calling because you're freaking out but don't want Zach to know?"

"Yep - and because he reminded me to." Willy took a deep breath before continuing to speak. "I've liked him for as long as I've known him, pretty much, but we haven't been together that long, and regardless, we're both away all the time so how are we supposed to raise a kid?!"

"With help," Alex replied simply. "You have your teammates and the people who work for the Leafs - between them, I'm sure you'll figure out what you need to know about raising a kid in Toronto. And you have me to help teach the kid Swedish - and I can tell the rest of the family if that'll help?"

"No, I'll tell them myself," Willy insisted. "But...I know we're not alone, but...why us?"

"Nobody knows the answer to that when it comes to wishbabies," Alex pointed out. "But I do know you and Zach will figure it out. Call me if you need me, okay?"

"Okay," Willy promised. "Thanks, Alex. Love you."

"Love you, too, Papa," Alex laughed. "Bye."

"Bye." Willy ended the call and took some deep breaths before returning to the kitchen, where he stood in the doorway just to look at Zach rocking the baby.

The baby cooed and reached over Zach's shoulder. "Oh?" Zach asked, turning around so he was facing Willy. "Yeah, that's your Papa! Just in time to eat!"

"Yep!" Willy walked up to them and gave each of them a kiss on the forehead. "Family lunch time!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to see a specific Leaf in this story, comment and let me know! I have a few ideas, but I'm always open to more!  
> (If you have non-Leaf ideas, those are welcome, too!!)


	3. Invasion of the Leafs (Zach's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team visits the baby. It's chaotic, but not quite in the way Zach expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is somewhat rushed because I had to work unexpectedly (my mother's secretary was sick). Hopefully it's not too bad!!
> 
> In this chapter, naming customs in Judaism are discussed. Please note that Jews are very, very diverse, which means customs vary widely. I have absolutely no idea what customs Zach and his family follow, so I'm going with my family's customs (Ashkenazi/Eastern European).

The doorbell rang. Zach reluctantly left Willy and the baby in the kitchen and peered through the keyhole. "Oh, no."

"More relatives than we can possibly host?" Willy guessed, walking over with the baby.

"Worse than that." Zach stepped aside so Willy could look.

"WE HEARD THAT!" Mitch shouted through the door.

Willy groaned. "GO AWAY!"

"Willy, be nice," Zach ordered. He opened the door with a weary sigh. "I still don't understand why none of you wanted to go somewhere for bye week."

"It was fate!" Kappy declared, leading in Mitch and Auston for Zach's liking. "We didn't get our act together because we were destined to be here to meet Baby Hylander!"

"Hi, Baby Hylander!" Mitch cooed to the baby, who was starting to fuss. "I'm Uncle Mitch! I got you the best presents!"

Auston cleared his throat.

"Fine," Mitch conceded, reaching into the shopping bag Auston was holding. "Uncle Auston helped. Look!" He produced a toy Carlton the Bear. "It's the best mascot ever!"

The baby started to cry. "Shh, shh..." Willy whispered. He slipped into Swedish, none of which Zach understood.

"Anyway..." Kappy said softly. "Willy said you turned down my idea for a name, but I'll forgive you if I get to be the favorite uncle."

Zach sighed. "You're still alive. Some Jewish families would be fine with naming a baby after a living relative, but my family and many other Jewish families aren't. It mostly has to do with where you're from, I think."

"Do you have a name picked out?" Auston asked.

"We can't say it until the naming in the synagogue," Willy said. "You'll find out in...five days."

Mitch whistled softly. "Fast learning on the Jewish stuff!"

"I think the ban on saying it early is technically just the Hebrew name," Zach pointed out. "But Willy figured holding out on the secular name would entice more people to come to synagogue. Our parents are collaborating on the luncheon - you'll get invites soon, don't worry."

"Not worrying!" Mitch promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know whether or not that made sense!!!


	4. What If? (Willy's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willy and Zach talk hypotheticals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I unexpectedly had to work today, so this is kind of rushed. Sorry!   
> I'll answer comments on yesterday's chapter tomorrow!

Willy leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead. _"Jag älskar dig."_

Zach repeated the gesture. "I love you."

"That's what I just said," Willy laughed.

"I know," Zach laughed back. "It's not the first time I've heard you say it."

Willy smiled and allowed Zach to lead him across the hall to their bedroom. "Ah, yes, this is where you've heard me say it."

"For the most part," Zach confirmed. "But you sometimes say it when you think I'm asleep on the couch."

"Oh." Willy felt his face turn bright red. "Sorry."

"For what?" Zach frowned. "You don't need to feel bad for saying it."

"I feel bad for not wanting you to understand it," Willy confessed. "You've probably noticed that I say a lot of stuff in Swedish when I think you're asleep on the couch."

Zach nodded in acknowledgement. "But you're allowed your privacy. And I know you tell me the important things in English."

"Or I don't say them at all," Willy sighed. "I never even thought about a future with you, at least not with details like kids."

"I did," Zach said quietly. "I daydreamed. A lot."

"Really?" Willy arched an eyebrow in surprise. "What did you daydream about?"

"Putting our names on the same lease, buying each other rings, teaching you about Jewish weddings..." Zach smiled wistfully as he spoke. "And arguing about when to start getting ready for kids."

"What do you mean?" Willy asked. "You daydreamed about us not both wanting kids?"

"No - we both wanted kids, and we made plans to adopt, but we couldn't agree on when to get the nursery set up and stuff." Willy's confusion must have been apparent, because Zach explained further: "It's a Jewish custom - I'm not sure how widespread it is, but it's true in most Jewish families I know - to avoid buying a lot of baby stuff until the baby is actually born, I guess in case the baby isn't actually born?"

"Oh," Willy frowned. "Well, I guess a wishbaby was a good way of settling that argument."

"Yeah." Zach leaned into Willy slightly. "I know we're both kind of overwhelmed, but I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else."

"Ditto," Willy said, surprising himself with how certain he sounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things should be less rushed and back to normal from here on out!


	5. Meet the Mishpacha (Zach's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zach's parents come over to meet the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mishpacha" is the Hebrew word for "family."  
> I'll use it in a sentence: My _mishpacha_ is why I'm late posting this chapter - they wouldn't leave me alone this afternoon!
> 
> I can't remember having ever read a fic featuring Zach's family - mentions, yes, but no actual appearances. =/ So I'm a little worried as to how they're written here. Let me know what you think!!!

Zach's parents insisted on coming over to see the baby, despite Zach wanting to keep his new little family away from the world for awhile longer. Willy was pretending not to mind: "I have to meet them as your significant other sooner rather than later, right?"

"I didn't realize 'significant other' was what we were calling ourselves, but yes." Zach narrowed his eyebrows as he rocked the baby in place. "I thought we were boyfriends?"

"Is that the right thing to say when we have a wishbaby together?" Willy looked much more worried than Zach had ever seen him. "I don't want your parents thinking I don't care enough, or that I don't realize what a big deal this is..."

The doorbell interrupted the conversation. "I'm an author, remember?" Zach whispered as he and Willy walked to the door. "Let me handle the words."

He opened the door and nearly fell over from the force of his mother's hug. "My baby Zach has a baby of his own!"

"And that baby has a whole lot of winter stuff," Zach's father sighed as he held up two large shopping bags. "Hi, son. Hi, Willy."

"Hi," Willy said. "Let's move to the couch so we all can sit?"

"Good call." Zach's father was first to speak once they were all sitting down. "So, is now a good time for me to hold my grandkid?"

"Yeah, sure." Willy handed over the baby. "I see more Hyman than Nylander, but I'm curious what you guys think."

Zach's father hummed in thought as he smiled down at the baby. "I think you might be right."

"Yes!" Zach's mother added. "Such a cute baby, just like his _abba_ used to be!"

"I'm not going to be _Abba_ ," Zach shook his head. He turned to Willy and explained, "That's the Hebrew would for 'father.' Nothing to do with a band from your homeland."

"I see," Willy laughed.

The baby made a whining noise and reached up. "He wants you," Zach's father declared, handing him to Zach. "You know, I didn't expect to have to decide what my grandkid would call me until after my son brought home a partner, but I can't imagine a better partner for my son just based on what I've heard and seen of your friendship."

"Thank you," Willy whispered. "That means a lot."

Zach nodded, not trusting himself to articulate just how very much that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If things go according to plan, I should post tomorrow's (Friday's) chapter closer to candle-lighting time! =D


	6. Shabbat Shalom? (Willy's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willy realizes he has a lot of questions about Judaism. Zach lets him ask away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember if I've said this already, but I'll say it now: The days of the week in this fic correspond with when I'm publishing each chapter. So this chapter takes place on a Friday because I'm publishing it on a Friday!
> 
> As always, please keep in mind that Jewish practices vary widely. I cannot and do not claim to represent the real-life Zach Hyman's actual practices in this fic; this is mostly based on my personal practices.

Willy stared at the table, specifically at the covered item in the middle of it. "What's that?"

"Challah." Zach lifted the cover to reveal a braided loaf of bread. "It's supposed to stay covered until you say the blessing and eat. I forget why."

"Oh." Willy sat down. "I didn't think it was a holiday today - is it a holiday tomorrow?"

"It wasn't a holiday today," Zach confirmed. "Tomorrow is just Shabbat."

"Oh." Willy waited for Zach to set the baby in the high chair before speaking again: "But Shabbat is just Saturday, you told me once. What's the holiday on Sunday with the service at synagogue?"

"First of all, Jewish holidays start the night before, so Shabbat is Friday night and Saturday, hence the challah right now - you're supposed to light candles and have wine, too, but I don't usually do all that during the season." Zach paused before continuing. "The holiday on Saturday night and Sunday this weekend is called Rosh Chodesh, the start of the Jewish month."

"Because the calendar is different, which is why the holidays are never the same date."

"Exactly!" Zach smiled. "So on Sunday they'll have a bunch of prayers, read a bunch of psalms, read from the Torah, then do a few more prayers. The part involving us is right after the Torah reading."

Willy nodded very slightly. "Is it weird that I'm not sure what the Torah is?"

"Not at all." Zach reached out and rested his hand on Willy's. "You didn't grow up with this stuff, and we haven't been together that long, and frankly it gets confusing even for me sometimes. But you can ask any questions you have and I'll do my best to answer. Deal?"

"Deal," Willy nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if anything is confusing!!


	7. Looking Forward (Zach's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before the big day at the synagogue. Nobody can sleep, so Zach and Willy wind up talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this story is almost over! O.O It's been fun to write, thanks in no small part to all the kudos and comments I've received so far. <3

The baby's cries prompted Zach to sit up in bed and look at the clock.

"How long has it been?" Willy asked as they got out of bed and headed to the nursery.

"Ten minutes, maybe?" Zach yawned and picked up the baby. "I guess we're all thinking too much about tomorrow to actually sleep."

Willy nodded and leaned his chin on Zach's shoulder. "You, _älskling,_ have the easy part," he told the baby. "You just have to be passed between people and not flinch."

"Papa's part is easy, too - don't let the complaining fool you," Zach countered. "He just has to stand next to me and look good while I try not to screw up the Hebrew."

"Daddy is being shy," Willy responded. "He's really smart and really good at everything. He'll be fine - we'll all be fine."

The baby didn't sound convinced, whimpering a little more despite Zach's best efforts.

"That's who we are, right?" Willy asked. "You're Daddy and I'm Papa?"

"Yep," Zach nodded. "Daddy, Papa, and Baby Hylander."

"Who's getting a real name tomorrow!" Willy cooed. He switched back to his normal voice when he spoke again: "I guess I have to figure out how to teach both of you Swedish."

"Focus on teaching the baby," Zach suggested. "I'll study on my own, and I'll probably pick up whatever you're teaching."

"Okay," Willy nodded. He smiled into Zach's skin. "I think we can go back to bed."

Zach looked down; sure enough, the baby was asleep. He carefully put the baby down and walked back to bed with Willy. "Are you still nervous?"

"Yeah, but I'd be more nervous with someone else or by myself."

"Good point." Zach kissed Willy quickly. _"Jag älskar dig."_

"Exactly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last chapter to go!!!!!!!!


	8. A Very Happy Day (Willy's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day at the synagogue finally arrives!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the fic! :') Thank you for all the kudos and comments! I saw at least one comment asking about the future of this little family, which I admit I hadn't given any thought; perhaps I'll return to them if inspiration strikes!!
> 
> Fun fact: I decided on what to do with the last name last night, and I decided on the given names less than an hour ago. *sigh*
> 
> I'm not specifying a Hebrew name because it felt weird to make one up for Zach.

Willy felt his hands shake as he followed Zach to where the Torah scroll was waiting to be read from. Zach did his thing in Hebrew flawlessly and squeezed Willy's hands as someone Willy had only briefly met less than an hour earlier read. Then Zach did another thing in Hebrew, once again flawlessly, and the Rabbi started talking. Willy had no idea what was being said, though he was pretty sure it was in English; his nerves were simply all over the place.

The Rabbi stopped talking, and Zach and Willy moved to the side for a bit as the Torah scroll was paraded around and put away. "Relax," Zach whispered. "It's going to be fine."

"But the guy's gonna -"

Zach squeezed Willy's hands again. "It won't be that bad. Some guy did it to me way back when, and I'm fine, aren't I?"

Willy couldn't think of a synagogue-appropriate response, so he didn't say anything.

"And now," the Rabbi announced, "we will welcome a new member of our community."

Zach's parents walked in with the baby. The congregation said something. "It means 'welcome' in Hebrew," Zach whispered. He then raised his voice to a normal level and read something handed to him by the Rabbi.

The baby was placed on a chair near Zach and Willy. An older friend of Zach's came up and sat with the baby on his lap. The mohel came up, recited a blessing, and performed the ceremony while Zach recited a different blessing.

The congregation said something in unison, then it was Zach's turn again. "Our son is named Josef Samuel Nylander-Hyman."

Willy found himself unable to focus as Zach added the Hebrew name. The mohel repeated everything in the context of yet another blessing before giving the baby and Zach's friend some wine. "I could use some of that," Willy whispered.

"Just wait a little," Zach whispered back as everyone began to sing. The mohel handed Zach the baby - their son! - as the Rabbi dismissed them to the social hall for food.

_"Hei, Josef,"_ Willy whispered. "We love you so much."

"Yeah," Zach nodded. "Let's go eat."

They made their way to the social hall, where their teammates were the first to demand attention. "I can't believe you didn't just say Hylander!" Mitch pouted.

"We decided to match my last name order," Willy explained.

"I like it," Kappy declared. "And I like the food!"

"Good," Zach laughed.

It took quite some time for them to reach their seats, and even longer to say the blessings and get food, but eventually Zach and Willy were eating. "I love you," Zach said softly. "Don't forget that."

"I won't, because I love you, too, and our family is awesome," Willy declared.

"It is," Zach affirmed with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was worth the wait! :D
> 
> I've never been to a bris, so this is an educated guess as to how a bris runs. Sorry if it's wrong!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! This story has an outline, but not much detail, so let me know what you'd like to see and I'll see if I can include it!
> 
> Also: Happy Hanukkah to all my fellow Jews! :D


End file.
